Quotes from
Wedding Crashers
Warning: contains bad words

The original quote, with slang   What does it mean?

John: I'm sorry I called you white trash.
Jeremy: I forgive you.
John: And I'm sorry I called you hillbilly. I don't know what that means.
Jeremy: John, it's all right. Do you mind if I get married now?

John: I'm sorry I said you were a poor, uneducated white person who often behaves offensively.
Jeremy: I forgive you.
John: And I'm sorry I called you an uneducated, unsophisticated person from some remote woodland area. I don't know what that means.
Jeremy: John, it's all right. Do you mind if I get married now?

John: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.
Jeremy: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older woman made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.
John: I wasn't crying like a little girl.
Jeremy: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like, anyway?

John: Claire's mom just made me grab her breasts.
Jeremy: Well stop being so upset about it! Why is that a problem that a sexy older woman made you feel her breasts? Stop crying like a little girl.
John: I wasn't crying like a little girl.
Jeremy: Why don't you try having someone rub your penis with their hand under the table in front of the whole damn (for emphasis) family. Then you'll have some real problems, idiot. So tell me, what were her breasts like, anyway?

John: Claire! All I wanted is to have a minute alone with you to explain everything. But I've never gotten that chance. So here goes. For longer than I care to remember, my business has been crashing weddings. Business was good. I met a lot of girls. It was childish and irresponsible.
Claire: And pathetic.
John: Yeah. That's probably the best word. But it also led me to you so it's impossible for me to completely regret it. I've learned something. I crashed a funeral today. It wasn't my idea, I was basically dragged along.

John: Claire! All I wanted is to have a minute alone with you to explain everything. But I've never gotten that chance. So now I'm going to try. For longer than I care to remember, my business has been attending weddings I wasn't invited to. It worked very well for me. I met a lot of girls. It was childish and irresponsible.
Claire: And pathetic.
John: Yeah. That's probably the best word. But it also led me to you so it's impossible for me to completely regret it. I've learned something. I went to a funeral today that I wasn't invited to. It wasn't my idea, my friend forced me to go.