Quotes from
My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding

The original quote, with slang   What does it mean?
Toula points at Ian's nose.
Toula: What happened? Biker fight? Nose job? What?
Ian: Uh...yeah.
Toula: No, really.
Ian: You don't want to know.
Toula: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it. 		Toula points at Ian's nose.
Toula:What happened? Did you get into a fight with a motorcycle gang? Did you have plastic surgery on your nose? What happened?
Ian: Uh...yes.
Toula: No, really.
Ian: You don't want to know.
Toula: Oh I'm not sure. If I had survived being beaten badly by an old woman I would want to brag about it.
Toula: Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, thirty and way past my expiration date. Toula: Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, thirty and too old to find a husband, like old, sour milk.
Ian's mother: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
Ian's father: It's all Greek to me.

Ian's mother: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
Ian's father: I don't understand it at all.*

*This is a typical expression, which has a double meaning here, since Toula's family is Greek.