Quotes from
Ed Wood

The original quote, with slang   What does it mean?
Georgie Weiss: So, what was the important news you couldn't tell me on the phone again?
Ed Wood: Well, I started thinking about what you were saying about how your movies need to make a profit. Now, what is the one thing, if you put it in a movie, it'll be successful?
Georgie Weiss: Tits.
Ed Wood: No, better than that. A star.
Georgie Weiss: you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures. I make crap.
Ed Wood: Yes, but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something.
Georgie Weiss: Yeah. Crap with a star.
Georgie Weiss: So, what was the important news you couldn't tell me on the phone again?
Ed Wood: Well, I started thinking about what you were saying about how your movies need to make a profit. Now, what is the one thing, if you put it in a movie, that will make it successful?
Georgie Weiss: Breasts.
Ed Wood: No, better than that. A star.
Georgie Weiss: you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures. I make poor quality films.
Ed Wood: Yes, but if you take one of those bad films and put a star in it, then you've got something.
Georgie Weiss: Yes, a bad film with a star.
Ed Wood: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe?
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a fag.
Ed Wood: No, no, I'm just a transvestite.
Ed Wood: I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime and possibly have dinner together?
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were gay.
Ed Wood: No, no, I just like to wear women's clothes.
Bela Lugosi: Karloff did not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!
Ed Wood: What happened?
Bela Lugosi: How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to do Frankenstein? It's all makeup and grunting.
Ed Wood: Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula," that's a role that requires talent.
Bela Lugosi: Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands--
Ed Wood: That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. You wanna to go outside and get some air?
Bela Lugosi: Bullshit! I'm ready now! Roll the camera!

Bela Lugosi: Boris Karloff had no talent at all compared to me! I wouldn't care if that worthless British man died and went to Hell!
Ed Wood: What happened?
Bela Lugosi: I cannot believe that obnoxious person was so rude as to mention Boris Karloff. Do you think it takes talent to act as Frankenstein? It only requires putting on makeup and making grunting sounds.
Ed Wood: Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula," that's a role that requires talent.
Bela Lugosi: Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands--
Ed Wood: That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. Would you like to go outside and breathe some fresh air?
Bela Lugosi: Nonsense! I'm ready now! Start the film rolling!